Surat Terakhir Kim Jong Hyun SHINee - www.rodiahamir.com

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Dec 25, 2017

Surat Terakhir Kim Jong Hyun SHINee


Assalamualaikum,

Aku bukan peminat Kpop, sebab aku dah terlalu tua untuk muzik yang macam tu tapi aku tertarik dengan berita suicide artis Kpop yang rasanya memang trend mereka atau sesiapa sahaja dimana berada kalau berada dalam Major  depress pilihan utama adalah bunuh diri.

Nauzubillahiminzalik, jauhkan lah kami dari melakukan perbuatan perbuatan terkutuk ni. Perbuatan membunuh diri adalah termasuk di dalam kesalahan dosa-dosa besar, perbuatan membunuh diri ini TIDAK termasuk di dalam perkara yang menyebabkan seseorang terkeluar daripada Islam (Murtad).


Sesiapa yang terjun dari bukit membunuh dirinya, dia akan terjun ke dalam neraka jahannam kakal di dalamnya selama-lamanya. Sesiapa yang meminum racun membunuh diiri, racun itu akan berada di dalam gengamannya, dia akan menghirup racun itu di dalam neraka jahannam kekal di dalamnya selama-lamanya. Siapa yang membunuh dirinya dengan besi, maka besi itu akan berada dalam gengamannya, dia akan menikamkannya di perutnya di dalam neraka jahannam, kekal di dalamnya selama-lamanya.” (HR al-Bukhari dan Muslim)

Ok sambung, sebelum Kim Jong Hyun bunuh diri dia ada hantar pesanan kepada kakak/adik dia yang say goodbye dan tinggalkan surat untuk peminat dia. So memang dia dah rancang sehabis baik. Meh nak kongsi surat dia. 

Surat Terakhir Kim Jong Hyun SHINee

I am damaged from the inside. The depression that has been slowly eating away at me has completely swallowed me, and I couldn't win over it.

I hated myself. I tried to hold on to breaking memories and yelled at myself to get a grip, but there was no answer.

If I can't clear my breath, it's better to stop.

I asked myself who can take care of myself.

It's only me.

I was alone.

It's easy to say I'll end things.

It's hard to end things.

I lived all this time because of that difficulty.

They said I wanted to run away.

That's true. I wanted to run away.

From me.

From you.

I asked who it was. It was me. And it was me. And it was me again.

I asked why I kept losing my memories. They said it was because of my personality. I see. It wa smy fault in the end.

I wanted someone to notice, but no one noticed. No one met me, so of course they don't know I exist.

I asked why people live. Just. Just. People just live.

If I ask why people die, I guess they'd say they were tired.

I suffered and I worried. I never learned how to turn my pain into happiness.

Pain is just pain.

They told me not to be like that.

Why? I can't even end things the way I want?

They told me to figure out why I was hurting.

I know very well why. I'm hurting because of me. It's all my fault and because I'm bad.

Doctor, is this what you wanted to hear?

No, I didn't do anything wrong.

When the doctor blamed my personality with a quiet voice, I thought it was so easy to be a doctor.

It's amazing how much I'm hurting. People who are hurting more live well. People weaker than me live well. I guess not. Out of everyone alive, there's no one hurting more than I am and there's no one weaker than I am.

But they said I should live.

I asked why so many times, but it's not for me. It's for you.

I wanted to be for me.

Don't say things that don't make sense.

Figure out why I'm hurting? I told you why. Why I was hurting. Is it not okay to be hurting this much because of that? Do I need a more dramatic detail? I need more of a story?

I told you why. Were you not listening? Things I can win over don't end in scars.

It wasn't my place to clash with the world.

It wasn't my life to be known to the world.

They said that was why I was hurting more. Because I had clashed with the wrold, because I was known to the world. Why did I choose this? That's funny.

It's a miracle I lasted this far.

What more can I say? Just tell me I worked hard.

That it was good of me to come this far. That I worked hard.

Even if you can't smile as you let me go, please don't blame me.

I worked hard.

I really did work hard.

Good bye.


*credit gambar google image 

Moral of the story. Kalau ada kawan-kawan yang kita rasa dia macam sesuatu, ada masalah bantu la mereka. Jangan sindir dengan mengatakan baca Quran, suruh bersabar sebab dia pun tengah keliru. mana Mungkin orang lemah yang sakit jiwanya mampu nak lalui sendirian. jadi tugas kita bantu ok? 

Sekian. 

1 comment:

  1. Depression memang pembunuh senyap.. Kena dapatkan rawatan dan juga sokongan orang sekeliling..

    ReplyDelete

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